A very common theme in my healings is boundaries. I often have clients whose energy is being sapped because they find it difficult to put up boundaries. When we are unable to keep our boundaries firm, we often become resentful, overwhelmed or exhausted, and we can feel weak or helpless. There are many ways to create boundaries, and many reasons that we choose not to create them, but today I will be focusing on walking away and when it is appropriate.
Sometimes we need to make the choice to walk away (or detach) from a toxic person or situation. It is often a struggle to know when walking away is a resolution to a problem or whether we are just avoiding the person or situation all together. When we can't tell the difference, it becomes very difficult to make a decision to move forward. So here is how we can tell whether we are avoiding the issue or setting healthy boundaries:
When we choose to ignore any consequences or aftermath that may occur by our avoidance of the situation or the person then we are most likely avoiding. In these situations, we should take the time to assess why we want to avoid the situation, and what the potential consequences of this avoidance could be. After assessing these potential outcomes, we can make an educated choice as to how we would like to proceed.
If we are aware of the impact or outcomes of our stepping away, and we know that by removing ourselves from the situation we are enabling ourselves to move forward without absorbing the emotional impact of the situation or the person's behaviour, then we are acting from a place of our own power, making a conscious decision, and setting healthy boundaries for ourselves. For example, if we are in a toxic friendship where our friend is continuously putting us down and we have spoken to this friend about their behaviour, but it has not changed. We then have to assess whether this person adds value to our life. If the answer is no, then we can make the conscious choice to step away from this person, knowing that initially there may be a bit of a backlash from the decision, but that ultimately it is the best decision for ourselves and our mental well-being. These decisions are not always easy but you will know that you have made the right decision, because long with the feeling of loss, you will also feel a sense of relief and peace.
Boundaries are so important to maintain a healthy sense of self. I hope that this advice helps with any decisions you may have to make when assessing whether or not to walk away.
If you would like more advice on a particular situation, I would love to see you for a Spiritual Coaching Session. If you would like some more information on personal boundaries, How to Create Personal Boundaries That People Don’t Ignore is a lovely article by lonerwolf.com. I love the articles on this site because they always offer practical advice with the spiritual which is such crucial part of my philosophy.