Boundaries, Resentment, and Choices: Learning to Honour Your Energy
- Aug 26
- 4 min read
If there’s one theme that’s been showing up for me personally — and in a lot of my client sessions over the last few years — it’s boundaries. It seems like the universe is gently (and sometimes not so gently!) nudging many of us to look at where we give away our energy, why we do it, and how resentment starts to build when we ignore our own needs.
I wanted to share a little of my own journey with this, as well as some insights that might help you if you’ve been feeling frustrated, triggered, or drained by the people around you.
When “Just Saying Yes” Creates Resentment
For a long time, I used to get really irritated when someone (especially my friends) would message me on my days off asking for help or advice. My initial reaction was always: “Why can’t I just take break?” The frustration would sit with me for hours, sometimes even longer, and I’d catch myself being both angry with my friend and myself for hours. I would either respond and be annoyed that I had to "do things" on the day I wanted to do nothing, or I would not respond and think about responding until I finally did.
It wasn’t until I started doing some deeper shadow work that I realised the irritation wasn’t really about them at all — it was about me.
I had been carrying this unconscious belief that I didn’t “deserve” rest. That if I wasn’t constantly working, constantly showing up for others, I was somehow failing. The universe has a funny way of reflecting our inner stories back to us through the people around us. Every message I got on my “day off” was an invitation to notice my own pattern.
And here’s the truth I eventually landed on:
I always have a choice.
I don’t have to answer that message right away.
I don’t even have to respond at all if I don’t want to.
Boundaries don’t have to look like a dramatic “no.” Sometimes they’re as simple as pausing before reacting and deciding where you want to place your energy.
When Expressing Your Needs Isn’t Enough
Another situation that taught me a lot about boundaries involved a colleague I worked with on a voluntary project. I had told him — more than once — that I wasn’t able to take on certain tasks. But instead of listening, he kept talking over me and pushing back.
In the past, I would have tried harder to explain myself, to justify my “no,” to smooth things over so that no one felt uncomfortable. But on this day, something shifted. I realised I wasn’t obligated to keep explaining, and I certainly wasn’t obligated to stay in a conversation where my voice wasn’t being respected.
So I walked away.
It felt uncomfortable before I made the decision to do it. I had to remind myself:
My boundaries are mine to hold.
Respect goes both ways.
It was also incredibly freeing! Sometimes, walking away is the most self-respecting choice.
Energetic Boundaries Are Just as Important
In intuitive and Reiki healing, we talk a lot about energy exchange — the constant giving and receiving that happens in every interaction. When we overextend ourselves, say “yes” when we want to say “no,” hold back from expressing our needs or emotions, or carry resentment, our energy field can become scattered and heavy.
In sessions lately, I’ve been noticing a common thread: people holding tension in their solar plexus, heart, and throat chakras — the energy centres connected to personal power, self-worth, relationships, and authentic expression. When these areas are out of balance, it often shows up as frustration, fatigue, miscommunication, or that deep sense of “I’m doing everything for everyone else and nothing for myself.”
Reiki and intuitive healing can be powerful tools to help:
Release stuck resentment from the energy body
Reconnect you to your own sense of choice
Open and balance the throat chakra so you feel safe expressing your truth
Strengthen your energetic boundaries so you feel less drained
But healing also happens in the everyday choices we make — choosing when to rest, when to speak up, and when to lovingly walk away. This is why I always give one small piece of “homework” after my Extensive Reiki Healings, Intuitive Healings, Biofeedback Sessions, and Interdimensional Spiritual Healings — because I believe that subtle shifts made every single day are where the biggest transformations truly begin.
A Gentle Reminder
If you’re struggling with resentment, know that you’re not alone. Many of us were taught that being a “good” friend, partner, parent, or colleague means saying yes, being available, and showing up no matter what. But that’s not balance — that’s burnout.
Here’s what I remind my clients (and myself!) often:
You are allowed to rest.
You are allowed to not respond.
You are allowed to choose yourself without guilt.
Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re invitations to healthier, more authentic connections — with others, and with yourself.
If you’d like some support in clearing the heaviness that comes from carrying too much for too long, my Reiki and Intuitive Healing sessions can help you release stuck energy, strengthen your boundaries, and reconnect with your inner calm. You can book a session here or send me a WhatsApp or voice note if you’d like to connect first.
Comments